In need of some speech ferapy: erthygl nawddoglyd dros ben am blant yr Alban sy ddim yn siarad fel eu hathrawon dosbarth canol. Ydy’r Scotsman mor geidwadol â hyn fel arfer?

Ned-speak is a living language, rather like Gaelic, only slightly more comprehensible to the mass of educated society. It flourishes despite the lack of EU funding, adopting words from other nations – “dobber” was imported from Australia (how Neighbours has enriched our culture). Like other minority languages, it has to fight for its survival and native ned-speakers felt insulted when David Blunkett said that English should be spoken in the home. The Home Secretary should rejoice that many ned-speakers are actually bilingual, capable of such eloquent statements as: “I plead not guilty, Your Honour”